Day 53 of 180

I’m mentally preparing myself to go meet with my supervisor so he can tell me that my latest observation was terrible.  He’s going to have another assistant principal (AP) with him.  He’s going to lecture me about what I should have been doing, what I didn’t have on my boards, and where it should be.  I don’t expect him to ask me what was going on and why my class was the way it was.  I don’t expect him to acknowledge that when he stopped by with the district head of English that I said that not much was going on in the class, and that perhaps there was a reason I was saying that. What he will tell me is that I was teaching tools in a vacuum and not explaining what the purpose was.

The truth is that 6 out of 12 students were missing.  Of the 6 that were there, a full 100% had not done their homework.

The truth is that the reason they were filling out the TPCASTT sheets was so they could write essays on themes in poems.

The truth is that when introducing new concepts, it seems really crappy to do that when over half the class is being required to retake a state mandated test, and the other half is not prepared.

However, I will agree with some of it.

The truth is that I did not have my agenda posted.

The truth is that I did not have my objective posted.

And here’s why.

The truth is that I was so frustrated with my students that I wanted to cry.

The truth is that my students had thought, “Oops, I forgot it” was an acceptable excuse.

The truth is that when a teacher says “we aren’t really doing much”, she might be trying not to shame her students by saying that they colossally effed up her carefully constructed plans.

The truth has many sides.  I don’t want to go and hear any of this, even though I can own my part of it.

The truth is that my AP did this and so much more, to the point where we use the APs last name as verb to describe when a teacher is barely phoning it in.

The truth is that I am embarrassed to be caught in being lame, but I’m equally frustrated that I acknowledged as much, and my AP and the district head went on with their observation.  At that point it stops feeling like an observation and starts feeling like they were out to get me and prove how I was failing.

The truth is that I wish I didn’t have to go upstairs and be told that I suck.

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